Operation: STEVE
by Numbuh Phenon
Summary: The Teen Ninjas are on the hunt and they only have one target in sight: Abigail Lincoln. In a last ditch effort to save their friend, Nigel, Hoagie, Kuki, and Wally suit up and take a stand against the coolest, smoothest, and all around deadliest teenager of all: The Steve.
1. First Wave

_**Operation: S.T.E.V.E**_

 _ **Steve. Totally. Expresses. Violent. Epicness.**_

* * *

Friday nights were the best nights a kid could ever experience. The tremendous relief one felt after surviving another week of school, the thought of staying up all night playing video games and watching cartoons, the assurance that there would be no annoying alarm clocks or fussy parents the next morning: it was great. Friday nights were supposed to be the best nights ever.

For one group of children, however, this Friday night would be remembered as one of their worst yet.

Hoagie stood alone in the room, the flicker of the monitor before him acting as his only company. His goggles were lifted over his forehead as his tired eyes scanned the screen the eleventy billionth time for error.

All systems were green and the board was clear, yet despite writing the code and projections himself, he still couldn't stop himself from second-guessing the calculations. His fingers worked on their own, his hands numb as he let them take over to go over the data another time.

There would be no foul-ups this time. There would no goofy "oops" moments. There would nothing left unaccounted for. He would make doubly sure of it.

The stakes were far too high this time.

"…you can't expect me to just go along with this."

"I _expect_ you to obey the chain-of-command."

As the voices neared, Hoagie flicked a switch and the lights hummed to life. He blinked and lowered his goggles to allow his eyes time to adjust. The boy could hear the footsteps nearing and he rose from his seat and looked at his watch. It was almost time.

The chamber doors swung open and in came Nigel, hands folded harshly behind his back and his face etched into a permanent frown. His turtle-neck was scarred and Hoagie could catch the whiff of laser residue in the air. Despite his battle-weary appearance, the bald one carried it effortlessly and it only added to his demeanor.

On his tail were the last three of the team, Abby coming in looking just as bad as Nigel with Wally and Kuki flanking her sides. Abby rubbed at her arm, dipping her head as she mumbled. Wally and Kuki marched with blank expression, and Hoagie could not recall a time he had seen them so serious.

That old urge to crack a joke to lighten the mood came bubbling up, but he quashed it down with a soft grunt. This was not the time for that.

Nigel stopped in the middle of the room, his head rising to inspect the contraption before him. There wasn't a hint of emotion in his features as his eyes went over, checking for any possible inconvenience.

"Good work, Numbuh 2," was the final verdict. His stoic posture never broke, but Hoagie could pick up the hint of sympathy in his tone. "It's precisely what I asked for."

Hoagie wasn't convinced. "It was on such short notice. I don't think it'll be enough."

"It has to be," Nigel said. "And if it's not, we'll simply have to make up for the rest."

"Y'all ain't gonna have to make up for anything," Abby spoke up with heat in her tone. "Because Numbuh 5 is _not_ going in there."

Nigel never turned to face her. "This is not up for discussion."

"The heck it ain't!" Abby snapped. Her fists were clenched tightly, and Wally and Kuki actually took a safe step away. "Look at us, Nigel. We barely got back to the treehouse in one piece. I'm not letting this happen. None of you are getting hurt because of me!"

Hoagie gently approached her. "Abby, listen; we all know the risk. We know what could happen and we're doing it anyway." He grasped her shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze as his expression hardened. "I…we _won't_ let them take you."

Abby hesitated before knocking off his hand. She spun on her heel, attempting to go back down the hall. "S-Stop it! You guys are not doing this. C'mon, we're wasting time with this crud when we could be-"

She halted when Kuki suddenly jumped in front of her, blocking her exit.

Abby was shocked but quickly shook it off. "Kuki, let me through. I'm not playing around."

Lips trembled, Kuki's hands went stiff at her sides as she shook her head.

"I mean it, Kuki. Let me-"

"Get into the room, Numbuh 5."

Abby snarled as she whipped around to glare at Nigel who finally decided to face her. "No."

" _Number 5_ ," Nigel said, voice raising an octave and tone coated with steel. "I'm _ordering_ you to get into that room right now!"

The girl scoffed. "Sorry, boss, but that's one order Numbuh 5 ain't gonna-"

"Please."

Everyone froze, including Nigel. Abby turned to the source of the plea and found Wally gazing up at her. A storm of sadness and anger raged across his face despite his attempts to quell it.

As soon as Abby looked at him, he stubbornly crossed his arms and looked down to hide the tears picking behind his eyes. "Just…just get in the stupid room already. Please."

Abby was at a loss of words, gawking at the blond and her friends around her. Her mouth opened and close, her retorts dying before she could even sound them off. She finally stopped, and gauged all four of her friends one last time. Several habits had been broken from each of them in the last two minutes alone, and she didn't know what to say.

Deciding actions spoke louder anyway, Abby slowly slumped, then turned and walked. She stuffed her hands in her pockets, not looking at Nigel or Hoagie as she stepped over the threshold.

Once he was sure she would not try anything, Nigel gave Hoagie a curt nod. The portly boy responded by pulling a lever, and the lights of the room began flashing red as the klaxon alarms went off.

There was a hiss before the door behind Abby slammed shut. The force shook the entire foundation, but none of the five flinched. As the door closed, another series of armored doors and steel walls closed; encasing Abby in an increasingly fortified bunker. After a seemingly endless cascade of doors came down, chains shot out from the wall, looping around the entrance, and four hamsters in ninja outfits appeared from nowhere and took positions in front of the door.

Abby took a causal intake of the room. Were the situation different, she would admit to being impressed. In such a short amount of time, Hoagie had managed to create an impregnable panic room and managed to even model the décor after her own room. Back in the corner was a wide television screen, only instead of cartoons, it displayed a live feed of every nook and cranny of the treehouse. She arched a brow. Wasn't that a bit too much?

She looked up and was surprised to see a window and her friends behind it. She rolled her eyes, scolding herself for not expecting a one-way window. It was probably put in so she'd at least she trouble coming.

Abby watched as one by one as her friends filed out of the room, Hoagie being the last as he went over the computer one final time. He then turned to her, looking at the spot the window would be on his side. His lips quirked into a tiny smile, and he waved before walking away as well.

Even though he couldn't see it, Abby pressed a hand to the window as he left her alone. After a moment, she sank to her knees, hand still against the glass as she lowered her head, praying for her friends' safe return.

* * *

"Alright team, this is going to be a short debriefing," Nigel began, pacing in front of his podium before facing the others. The children had forgone their normal wardrobes and were decked out, head to toe, in their KND Sector Battle Armor. "We don't have time, so pay attention; understood?"

The three before him nodded.

"At 1500 hours, as Numbuh 5 and I were departing the bus stop, we were ambushed by a platoon of elite Teen Ninjas," he said, the screen behind him flickering to show a teen covered in full-plate Battle Ready Armor. "They came hard and fast, and had Numbuh 4 not rounded the corner to assist, I shudder to think how differently the outcome would've turned out."

Wally smashed his fists together, snarling at the memory. "Wasn't about to let those freaks make off with MY friends."

"Which brings us to the heart of it," he paused, allowing the screen to change to an image of Abby. "We managed to swipe one of their cell-phones, and before it self-destructed, we managed to decode very grave information: the Teen Ninjas have moved Numbuh 5 to the top of their most wanted list and her capture and retrieval is their current highest priority."

Kuki huffed as she stomped her boot. "What do those meanies want with Numbuh 5?"

"Abby is the oldest of us and the closest to turning thirteen," Hoagie began to speculate. "They must be stepping up their efforts to recruit her and get her to turn traitor before her decommissioning."

"And think about it," Wally said as he butted in. "Numbuh 5's stupid sister used to be one of the best operatives around and look what happened to her. If those cruddy _teenagers_ managed to get their hands on Numbuh 5, they'd be in-stoppable!"

"Which is precisely why we won't let that happen," Nigel said. "Given the severity of the situation, I've called in Global Command for an immediate extraction of Numbuh 5 and for her to be moved to a more secure location whilst we deal with this threat. But it only gets worse."

He moved to the side as the screen changed again, this time taking on the appearance of a radar as tiny images appeared on the screen. In the center was a tiny V-shaped treehouse, and with every new ping of the radar, red blimps moved closer to the tree symbol. It only took three pings for the entire half of the screen to be covered in them.

Kuki awkwardly raised her hand. "Uh, I thought we were trying to save Numbuh 5, not play connect the dots?"

"Each of those 'dots' are a unit of highly trained Teen Ninja soldiers," Nigel clarified, Kuki snapping her mouth shut in response. Nigel's scowl only deepened as the red blimps got closer. "And they're headed straight for us."

"Sweet Rainbow Monkey Mary," Hoagie whispered. "There's gotta be like fifteen trazillion of 'em."

"The squad that attacked us was just the infiltration team. If they failed, all nearby teen cells were ordered to launch a deadly counter-offensive. They plan to take Numbuh 5 by force."

"But Global Command will get here in time, right?"

Nigel shook his head in negative to Wally's question. "By the time they get here, they'll already have Abby in a basement somewhere getting brainwashed into another teenage pawn. But that's where WE come in." He turned to his team, confidently jumping down to merge with them. "We will hold this position until Global Command arrives. The only thing standing between Numbuh 5 and early puberty are some of the toughest, bravest, most-teenage hating operatives I've had the pleasure of working with."

"Oh, neat! Where are they?" Kuki asked as she bounced on her heels. As the boys gave her a flat look, realization slowly sunk in. " _Ooooooh_. Oh! Aw, Numbuh 1, that's so sweet of you to say!"

"I mean that with fully sincerity, because it's going to take the toughest, bravest, most-teenage hating operatives to stop what's coming." At their curious gazes, his mouth thinned into a fine line. " _The Steve_ is personally leading this assault."

"The Steve!?" Hoagie spluttered. "And by The Steve, you mean the _THE_ Steve? The Leader-of-the-Entire-Teen-Ninjas-Steve Steve? _That_ Steve!?"

Wally's brows knitted together as he used his fingers to keep tally. "Man, that sure is a lot of Steves."

"No, there's only one of him, but he apparently means business." Nigel ground his fist into his open palm as his voice went up a few notches. "And so do we! This isn't just another mission, this is personal. We're not just saving another kid; we're saving our friend. And if I can't save my friend, then I'm not worth the snot in my nose!" Pumped by his own speech, he punched his hands into the air. "Who's with me!?"

Wally loosened his neck and crackled his knuckles before putting a hand in. "Four."

Kuki fashioned her loose hair into a tight pony-tail and tied a green bandana around her forehead before putting her atop Wally's. "Three."

Hoagie shrugged on a back-pack and used one hand to cock his pickle-shotgun while the other joined his friends. "Two."

"One. Kids Next Door," Nigel said as he put his hand in. He looked to the others and they nodded in unison. "Battle Stations."

* * *

Chad looked around him, honestly feeling a bit unnerved. For as long as he had been in Teen Ninjas' ranks, he couldn't remember the last time he had seen any of the chumps in this tight of a formation. Even his _Jets_ weren't this coordinated.

But he supposed that was to be expected of the Senior Squad. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a bit intimidated. With his line of work, he going on a mission with the Seniors was rare occurrence, and every time it happened, the elites always made sure to leave an impression.

That train of thought made him rub his arm out of instinct, already dreading the dead-arms he was going to get when this was over. He would bet Infinity's promised galactic level promotion that the only thing keeping the brutes in check was his close proximity to The Steve.

Speaking of The Steve.

"Sir, are you sure this is wise?" Chad asked the young man to his right. Beside him stood the tall, imposing figure of The Steve. The youth walked forth, jacket tied around his waist and head bobbing to the beat of music. Chad groaned, poking the boy to get his attention. "Sir?"

"Wha?" The Steve suddenly stopped - everyone around him nearly tripping to halt themselves as well. Curious, Steve plucked out a head-phone and greeted Chad with his trademark smirk. "What's up, man?"

Chad sighed. "I was just making sure this is a good idea. I'm not comfortable with the fact you're so exposed like this."

"Dude, it's not even cold outside," Steve pointed out. "Plus, I totally got my jacket. I'm, like, all sorts of prepared here, yo."

"I was talking about the fact that you're leading this assault and risk putting yourself in danger."

"Oh." Steve blinked. He then pounded a fist against his heart. "That gets me right here, man. I'm, like, psyched that you care."

It was times like these Chad wished he could tell apart snarky-Steve from serious-Steve. "Uh, yeah, but I still think it'd be best for you to wait in the ship."

"Dude, you sound like my mom. Not gonna lie, it's kinda weird."

"I'm just trying to think about this tactically!" Chad said exasperated. "We've amassed a huge force and all, but we can never be too careful. I mean sure, we got the seniors and they're cool and all, but I'm the only lieutenant here! Justin's nowhere to be seen-"

"He's sick with the flu, man."

"I don't even know where Maurice wandered off to-"

"Had to go to his sister's lame dance recital."

"And you didn't even bother to call Cree," Chad said. "Cree would be perfect for this mission; she knows the brats better than anyone here."

"D-Dude, she's got the night off!" Steve said. There was an awkward pause as no one present ever recalled seeing The Steve this flustered. Noticing this, he coughed into his hand and recovered. "You saying I can't handle this? That's really uncool of you man, just cause you're some fancy ex-Supreme Leader doesn't mean you can totally throw stuff in my face like that! But hey, what do I know, man? It's not like I'm the leader of all the teenagers or something."

One senior felt the need to say, "But, you are, sir."

"Sarcasm, Smalls. Sarcasm," Steve said as he pinched his nose. "C'mon, man, we talked about this."

Chad accepted the fact he wasn't talking Steve out of this, and decided the brats would have to just deal with it. He had done them enough favors by sending out the sloppiest infiltration team they had, if they hadn't prepared for The Steve after all that, then oh well.

Though he'd be lying if he didn't say he was intrigued to actually see Steve out in the field as a teenager.

"Okay, okay. Enough! We're almost there, see?" Steve said, drawing back Chad's attention as he pointed to the Sector V treehouse upon the horizon. They simply had to go past a few more back-yards before they were on top of them. "Alright, so I'm gonna lay this down one more time, alright? Alright. So, we're totally just gonna go in there, kick their butts, and we capture Numbuh 5. Got it?"

"Really? Just like that?"

" _Dude_ ," Steve grumbled, Chad raising his hands defensively in response. Steve decided to just ignore him. "I thought we could all just read-in-between the lines with all the technical stuff but whatever apparently! So we're Squad Awesome, got it? We sneak in, gauge their defenses, and check in with Squad Radical. While that's going down, Squad Epic is gonna fly in the laser mobiles and just go to town from a distance," he said with multiple finger bangs in the treehouse's direction. "It's gonna be tight. Once we got that satellite down so they can't call for help like wussies, we hook up with Squad Radical, push inside, and get the party started! We good?"

Chad nodded in agreement along with the rest of the seniors, but he was the only one to pause as he noticed something. He let out a tired sigh, then turned to the Steve again. "Good plan. One tiny little problem."

"Really?" Steve then pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it and looking it over as he scratched his head. "Aw man, you're right. I totally forgot about Squad Kind-of-Just-Winging-It."

"No. The brats probably just figured out our entire attack plan."

"No way. How?"

Chad simply pointed down, and Steve lifted his cheat sheet to see what the fuss about. He was greeted to the cute face of Kuki whom was smiling innocently as she had a MUSKET aimed at his face.

"Hi there!" She blinked, suddenly finding herself covered in red dots as the seniors took aim. "Oooh, pretty."

"That's…that's cute. Real cute," Steve said. He rose a hand, and all the seniors retracted their sights on Kuki. The brunette then bent his knees as he lowered himself. He used his finger to point Kuki's blaster away and ignored her protests as he nodded. "Sup, lil dork?"

"Nothing much, doo-doo head," Kuki said with a smile. "I'm here to give you one chance to surrender and to ask that you leave Numbuh 5 alone and never ever come back. So will you do that? Pretty please with sugar on top?"

Steve dramatically landed on his rump. He brought up his knees, folded his arms, and let his head rest on them as he let out an exaggerated groan. "Bummer. Guess since you asked all nicely, why not? Me and the boys will just back right off."

One of the seniors was confused. "Seriously?"

"You're killing me, Smalls," Steve grunted as he stood. He took a moment to give the senior in question a long, pointed look. The guy sheepishly fell back in line and Steve addressed Kuki. "As to your surrender offer thing? Big spoiler alert, but I think _The Steve's_ gonna say no."

Kuki shrugged. She reached to her belt and spoke into her walkie-talkie. "He said no."

And then she began humming to herself, swaying back and forth on her toes. Steve looked to Chad, hoping he would explain this. Sadly, the blond boy just shrugged. Quite fed up with this, Steve frowned and was about to order that the brat be taken out of his face. Permanent like.

Oddly enough, the exact moment before he got out a word was the moment they all heard a scream from the back. The teenagers quickly turned, stunned to see one of the seniors out cold on the ground, his helmet dented inward and a wisp of smoke trailing up.

"Look out!" Chad screamed as he tackled Steve to the ground.

In the split second it all happened, Steve noticed a fiery sizzle zipping through the air. It passed where his head was just a few seconds ago and collided into the face of the senior behind him. Whatever hit his face exploded with a quick pop, and sparks rained from his face as he went down like his comrade

Taking advantage of the chaos, Kuki leapt into action. She jumped into a round-house kick, easily taking down the unaware senior. The closest one gasped and fired his laser gauntlet. Kuki used the force to twirl herself around the laser, landing on neatly on one hand. She let loose a small "ta-da" before she snapped out her MUSKET and shot the offender away.

Kuki jumped to her feet, grinning as she dusted herself off. One last senior crept up behind her, but was shot down by an unknown assailant. The girl peaked over her shoulder, noticed the fallen teen, and then turned to wave at her mysterious savior.

A block away, Nigel suckled on his lollipop as he watched Kuki wave through the scope. He smirked, lifting his head away from the barrel to reload his repurposed toy-nerf gun.

"Stupid teenagers," he said as he went back to aiming. "Should've kept their eye on the-"

* * *

 **Kids Next Door: B.I.R.D.E.**

 **B** ee-bee **. I** ncendiary **. R** ounds **. D** emolishes **. I** rksome **. E** nemies **.**

* * *

From behind the doghouse they took cover from, Chad rose up and quickly analyzed the situation. His eyes widened as he ducked, the bee-bee pellet whizzing past his ear. Despite the severity, he chuckled. "Well, well, well. Looks like Nigie decided to play seriously today."

"Dude's camping. That's so lame," Steve grumbled as he looked over his cheat sheet. He peaked around the corner, seeing Kuki making short work of the last of his seniors. He let out a tuft of air as he crumpled the paper and threw it away. "No worries. Didn't take notes for plan B, but I got it memorized. I think."

Chad ducked again. "Plan b?"

"Oh yeah. Gotta take care of that loser first."

Just when Chad thought he couldn't be any more surprised, he nearly lost it as Steve stood up; to his full height, even. The boy motioned for Chad to stay silent as it all went quiet. Steve lowered his shades as he narrowed his eyes and his tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth as he counted down.

Suddenly, he ducked down behind the dog-house as a bee-bee zipped through the air his head was taking up not even a second ago. One hand gripped the roof of the dog-house, keeping the boy balanced as a finger pointed to where the shot had originated from.

"Yo, sneaky people," The Steve called into his wrist communicator. "We got a total loser hanging out on the blue house, 20 degrees north and 50 degrees west from where I'm chilling."

Chad watched in awe, having only seen Steve perform that maneuver once before. "You still remember how to do that…"

Steve blinked. "Remember what now?"

Chad shook his head and stuffed down nostalgia before he said anything more. "Nothing."

"Darn it, missed him," Nigel growled. Shaking it off, he gazed down his sights again as he scanned the horizon for the teen reinforcements. "Fine then. We can play hide and seek a little longer."

"Too bad we just found you!"

Nigel rolled to the side as a spiked foot crushed the barrel of his BIRDE. His hands snapped to catch the other foot, and he spun the heel around and knocked the teen ninja over. Before the other could react, Nigel kicked himself forward and fell into a slide down the roof. He reached for his side-arm and blasted the two off the other-side right before he flipped over the edge.

His cover blown, Nigel let the force of his landing activate his jet-boots. The tiny rockets flared to life and he shot off across the street as he noticed a dozen more teens fly out from behind various houses and fell into hot pursuit. Nigel scoffed before speaking into his head-set. "Numbuh 3, get ready for piggy-back!"

Kuki stopped in her tracks and squealed, "Right!"

Overly excited, Kuki giggled as she skipped away, Chad missing her as a result. He growled as he looked up and saw Kuki jumping on a fence before jumping up again to land on Nigel's back as he flew by. "Getting sick of these brats and their stupid tricks!"

"I feel ya," Steve casually said as he watched air-show. Nigel zipped around and Kuki picked off the flying teens expertly. One took a direct hit and went spiraling down into a pool a few houses over. He slowly rose his wrist-communicator again. "So, those laser mobiles here or what?"

"Affirmative on that one, sir." Two teen carriers flew by overhead, dropping three large objects down upon the neighborhood. The platforms dug into the ground, rising up and shifting to bulging laser turrets. "We are ready to rock!"

"Cool." Steve simply pointed to treehouse. "Shoot that."

They shot that.

From his position in the command center, Hoagie was rocked from his seat as the treehouse was bombarded. He fumbled back into his chair, looking at the security feed to see a storm of lasers raining down on him. Slowly, monitors went snowy as cameras were shot down, and Hoagie lifted his walkie-talkie. "We're taking heavy fire here. I can activate the long-range defenses, but I'd have to disengage the lockdown!"

"I don't care if Rachel herself ordered you otherwise; you do NOT disengage that lockdown for anything!" Nigel yelled into his head-set. He diverted his attention to the girl on his back. "Kuki, it's time to bring _her_ out!"

"Yay!" Kuki shot the last teen chasing them, then suddenly back-flipped off of Nigel to the suburb below.

That plan put into motion, Nigel twisted mid-air until he was flying straight towards Steve. The leader in his sights, Nigel let loose a wild battle cry as he shot blindly.

"Whoa!" Steve yelped as he awkwardly dance-dodged Nigel's volley. He grit his teeth as he ducked, but was forced to quickly re-position himself out of the way. He partially successful. He dodged the brunt of the blaster, but the strings of mustard grazed his pants. "NOT COOL MAN! These were new slacks!"

"You're going to need a new face when I'm done with you!" Nigel declared, barreling straight towards the brunette. Just when he thought he had him, he was tackled to the ground. He scraped along the yard and his face was forced into the dirt by the traitor that had overtook him. "Chad!"

Chad grinned, but then he groaned as Nigel brought an elbow into his gut. The boy quickly took advantage and switched positions; Chad forced on his back and left to parry blows from the child. "Loser!"

Steve pinched his pants and whined. Those stains were never going to come out. Growling, he righted himself, then began marching towards Sector V's treehouse.

"Squad Radical, I could really use some, like, _radical_ news right now," Steve said. He continued marching forward, not noticing Nigel jumping to catch him from behind. Chad suddenly appeared, pulling the child down by his ankle. "I'm down to plan B and half of the dorks haven't even shown up yet."

" _Well, we got to the base of their treehouse_ ," was the reply. Steve smiled, oblivious to Chad stumbling up to his side. The blond was about to report his success when Nigel screeched and bull-rushed him from the side. " _But the fort's locked down tight. Brats are trying to act like no one's home_."

"Well in that case, let's just knock harder," Steve said. While he was busy flipping through the channels, Nigel was coming up from behind madly swinging a piece of pinewood. Before he could connect with Steve, Chad punted him away, chasing after him to beat the boy when he landed. "There we go. Squad Epic, gonna need you teen-up and crack that egg wide open! Feel me?"

" _Oh yeah. We feel-wait, what the heck is-_ "

Steve lifted the communicator away from his ear as an explosion went off. He heard another go off not too far away, and he turned to see a sight he would have to remember to jot down later.

Two of the laser mobiles had been torn to shreds, and the cause of said shredding was currently repeating the same process on the final mobile. The teen manning the mobile abandoned ship as a giant, metallic paw crushed the mobile under its weight.

As the smoke cleared, Steve was greeted to the sight of HIPPIE-HOP roaring into the night.

"Agh! Why do the losers get all the cool giant robots?" Steve asked himself as he covered his ears. "I want a giant robot. 'Cept it would be something cool like a giant dog, or a giant badger. Wait, no, a giant raccoon! Man, raccoons are totally aweso-"

His train of thought was derailed as HIPPIE-HOP landed in front of him. Steve waved away the dust, coughing as he glared into the glowing red-eyes.

" _GAME OVER, STEVIE!"_ was the booming reply. The mech-hare bared her fangs, oil and slick slipping out like drool. " _LAST CHANCE TO RUN AWAY!"_

The Steve rose a finger. "See, we COULD do that and be all lame. Or, and just hear me out here for a second, we could totally NOT do that, and instead I can, like, blow your mind."

HIPPIE-HOP trembled as an assortment of cannons, rifles, and laser splitters popped from her body, all charging and locking dead on the teenager. " _THE ONLY THING GETTING BLOWN AWAY IS YOU!"_

"No, no, just watch me for a second," he smirked as he unfastened his jacket from his waist. "I swear this is gonna be awesome."

While it would be far too late for Kuki to understand the full weight of the event she was witnessing, she would go on to be known as one of the rare few that forced The Steve to put on his jacket.

And that was never a good thing, dude.

 **transmission interrupted**


	2. Second Wave

**Link has been reestablished. Now resuming transmission**

* * *

As soon as he donned the article, crimson armor plating sprang from the fabric to cover his exposed chest. Dark steel shot out from the ends of the sleeves and encased his fists; his fingers flexing to adjust to the material. The ends of his jacket latched to his belt, and similar steel plating stretched out to cover his legs all the way to his toes.

Steve smirked as the hood of his jacket came over his head - enveloping his rugged good-looks into a tight-formed helmet. His shades connected to the helmet, slowly filling with red until the visor was fully integrated into the suit.

From the cockpit, Kuki gulped as The Steve slowly rose into the air. The boy crossed his arms, his laugh only coming out as a low, guttural scratch.

"Like, you have no idea how wicked these voice modulators are," Steve said. He wiggled his fingers, slowly breathing in and out before he spoke again. "Numbuh 3, I am your father! Ha! But not really, cause like, that'd be super weird. And wrong."

He flexed mid-air, clearly enjoying himself as he positioned himself in various poses. "Man, if had theme music, it'd be playing right now." He then paused, as if realizing something. "Oh wait, I so DO have theme music!"

Two mini stereo-speakers compartments opened over his shoulders, and Steve simply floated there and pressed a finger to his chest. Sonic waves exploded forth, the instrumentals alone shattering Kuki's windows and forcing HIPPIE-HOP down. The robot's armor rippled and crumpled, and the poor girl herself clenched her ears in pain. Steve smugly floated, content on letting his music finish the bot off.

" _Na, na, na, na, na, na,_

 _I wanna start a fight…_ "

Wait. Those lyrics were-

" _I WANNA START FIGHT, SO!_

 _SO WHAT!?_

 _I'M STILL A ROCKSTAR!_

 _I GOT MY ROCK MOVES!_

 _AND I DON'T NEE-EED YOU!"_

"Uh, t-that's not my music!" Steve fumbled as he struggled to find the off-switch. Despite her pain, Kuki managed to point and laugh for good measure. "M-My sister's been messing with my jams again, I swear!"

" _AND GUESS WHAT!?_

 _I'M HAVING MORE FUN!_

 _AND NOW THAT WE'RE DONE!_

 _I'M GONNA SHOO-OOW YOU TONIGHT!"_

Steve decided to do it the old fashioned way and crushed the speakers with his hands. More embarrassed than he would care to admit, he depressingly hovered down towards Kuki. He came to land on HIPPIE-HOP's battered face-plate. Now that he could see into the cock-pit, he scanned over the control panel while Kuki shook off her grogginess. Upon finding what he was looking for, he chuckled. "Tell you what, you pretend that didn't happen, and I won't tell all your enemies where this button is."

"Where what button is?" Kuki said as she held her head. By the time she looked up, Steve was already flying towards the treehouse. Before she could scream about that fact, she was startled as the beeping noise from her console got louder and louder. Curious, the girl looked down to see what Steve was talking about.

And then she began cursing Hoagie to high heaven as she realized Steve pressed the " _blow-up HIPPIE-HOP's internal engine_ " button.

Steve landed on the deck of the treehouse with an amazing flourish, Squad Radical watching in awe as HIPPIE-HOP exploded behind him. And he didn't even look! His ego effectively stroked, he walked towards his gathered minions.

"So, lockdown, huh?" he said, knocking a fist against the steel exterior. Motioning for his crew to step back, Steve's fists glowed as he reared his arms back. "Then I guess we'll just-"

 _PLOP!_

Steve pasued as he and his Teen Ninjas looked over to see Kuki fall smack on the deck, smoking residue of the explosion rising off of her body. After a second, her parachute sprung open, and the cloth tapered down gently until it covered her completely.

"…Ignoring that," Steve said as he dug his fists into the wall. Multiple alarms went off around him, but he cared not as the strength of his suit ripped the steel apart to create an opening. "I had this totally cool line and everything and then stuff keeps happening to-"

 _BAM!_

Everyone was stunned silent as a bowling ball deflected off his helmet. The blow didn't hurt (thank goodness for science nerds and their omega-tri-fold armor plating) but it was enough to force his look upwards. He stared at the skyline, contemplating his life.

"You know, sometimes I just want to-"

 _BAM!_

"HEY!" Steve snapped, glaring at the chubby boy reloading a bowling ball launcher. "WILL YOU KNOCK THAT OFF!?"

Hoagie snarled at the armored teenager, not moving despite how he stomped forward. He loaded his launcher. "Not-"

 _BAM!_

"Until-"

 _BAM!_

"You-"

 _BAM!_

"Leave-"

 _BAM!_

"Abby-"

 _CRUSH!_

"ALONE!" Hoagie jumped back as Steve took hold of his launcher and crushed it. He cupped his hands and called out to the side. "NOW, WALLY!"

Steve stopped what he was doing and looked to the left just in time to see a giant clam flying towards him.

A few minutes later, Chad gasped desperately for breath as he finally made it to the upper deck of the treehouse. His battle-armor was chipped in several places, he was sporting a new black-eye, but despite all that, he finally put down Sector V's leader. Man, he sometimes forgot how tenacious that bald loser was.

"Hey guys," he panted as he leaned against the wall for support. Once he got his bearings, he walked through the breach to join the fray. "I got held up with…"

Chad blinked as he gauged the destruction before him. To his left was Squad Radical, tied up in a large amount of silly string.

Over to his right was Wally smugly sat atop a giant clam?

"What-GAH!" Chad was forced down, and found it harder to move his limbs as his hands and feet were abruptly hogtied. What in the world just happened? He got his answer as looked up and he nearly popped a blood vessel. "WHY WON'T YOU STAY DOWN!?"

Nigel scoffed as he tightened Chad's bindings. "Chad, Chad, Chad. When will you ever learn not to underestimate me?"

"We…we did it. We actually did it," Hoagie said as he got to his feet. He looked over to the clam that held Steve and he busted with laughter. "I can't believe that really worked!"

"Told you guys building a clam cannon was the right idea," Wally cheekily proclaimed. He then suddenly got the distinct feeling that he was vibrating. He first noted his friends' horrified faces, then looked down to see what had them so spoked. "No way!"

"Oh yes way!" Steve heaved as he forced the calm open. Not wanting his perfect plan to fail, Wally hopped off the clam and yelled as he attempted to shove Steve back in. Seeing his chance, the teenager quickly rolled out from the clam just as Wally jumped. The result was that he had finally freed himself, and Wally was trapped in his own creation. "Today is, like, one of those days where I feel like I'm in a dream or something."

Nigel rushed to attack, but Steve shot him down with a blast from his hand-canon. Upon seeing his leader go down, Hoagie picked up his pickle-shotgun and tried to think a way out of this situation. As Steve came closer, Hoagie blinked as he saw something moving behind the teen.

Still attached to her parachute, Kuki crawled to the main computer terminal, ripping away the shielding and gripping the wires. Her eyes locked with Hoagie, and she brought a finger to her lips.

Hoagie smirked, dropping his weapon and running to the wall to buy the girl time.

"You better hope you wake up soon, Stevie," Hoagie taunted. He pressed his hand into the wall to activate his prototype. He lifted his arms up, and grinned as the bark of the treehouse slowly molded around his frame. "Because this dream is about to turn into a nightmare!"

Steve watched as Hoagie fitted into his own, bulky suit of armor, unimpressed. "Really?"

"Yes, really!" Hoagie said as he struggled to step forward. "Who says you get the monopoly on super suits? I've been analyzing the designs of your BRAs and decided to add some personal touches of my own."

"Mine's still cooler."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"Stop with the jel-vibes and check it, smart dork," Steve said as he motioned to his suit and compared it to Hoagie's. "My style is sick and tight! Your style…dude, you can't even walk in that thing."

"So it takes a while to calibrate," Hoagie groaned as he took another slow step forward. "Still doesn't change the fact that it's more advanced than your suit in every way!"

"For real? Aw man. Well if you say it's more advanced, then by all means, I'll just surrender and- _tank missile_."

"AH!" Hoagie flinched as Steve flicked his wrist. A tiny dart-sized rocket shot forth, embedding itself in the boy's chest plate. Hoagie looked down and began complaining. "Watch where you're shooting that! This is a proto-"

 _BOOM!_

Steve tsked as he held his arm out. After a second, the charred body of Hoagie fell into his grasp, the boy blown away by the force of the blast. Deciding that this had gone one way to long, Steve allowed his helmet to fold back as he revealed his face to Hoagie.

"Ugh," Hoagie groaned, his vision clearing enough to see Steve's frown. After a moment, he nervously shifted in the teen's grip. "Heh, guess I was all _bark_ and no bite, huh?"

The Steve was silent for a moment. Suddenly, it clicked, and he waggled a finger Hoagie's way. " _Ayyyy!_ "

Hoagie returned the gesture. " _Ayyyy!_ "

"Enough of that. Look, I'll hand it to ya; you guys put up a _wicked_ fight," he lightly praised. "I got to show off some cool moves and junk and totally kick your KND butts. But see, The Steve's busy man. He's a busy man and he's got big plans. Big plans that involve your little Numbuh 5 chick. So be a good little dork and go get her for me, will ya?"

Hoagie sneered. "Never in a buhmillion years, _teenager_."

"Oh, that stings man," Steve said as he shook his head. "See, I was gonna let you losers off nicely. Now? Now The Steve has decided that being nice is for wimps." He charged his free hand, bringing it under Hoagie's chin. "And The Steve ain't no wimp."

"Maybe not a wimp, but you sure are an idiot."

"How do you figure that?"

Hoagie smirked. "You can't even count the right number of us 'dorks' to take down."

"Pfft, seriously?" He then scanned the room, pointing at Nigel and Wally before directing his gaze back to Hoagie. "We got Uno, dos-blond-o, and you make three, loser."

"Three, huh?"

"Yeah, three." Steven blinked as he remembered something. "Wait."

"Surprise!"

"H-Hey!" he yelled, letting Hoagie go to swipe Kuki off his back. The girl avoided his hands, and took the wires from the console and jammed them into Steve's damaged shoulder speakers. He jumped away, leaving the teenager confused. "What the heck did you just do?"

Kuki smirked. "Plugged you into the treehouse computer, silly."

"Why?"

"So I can do this," Hoagie said as leaned coolly against the wall. "Computer, I think there's some teenage malware in the system. Could you be a doll and purge it?"

" _FOREIGN TEENAGE PRESENCE DETECTED. NOW COMMENCING SYSTEM PURGE._ " There was a pause. " _AND DO NOT CALL ME 'DOLL'._ "

And just like that, Hoagie and Kuki ooooh-ed and awed as the leader of the Teen Ninjas lit up like a Christmas tree. He screamed as his suit sparked and crackled, nearly cooking him alive until finally, the armor forcibly ejected him. The Steve went unceremoniously flying as his armor shrank and fizzled back into his normal jacket.

Steve tumbled and rolled against the ground, the world spinning until he finally came to a stop. He held his head, blinking away the harsh light as his hand fondled around for his shades. He stopped when Kuki and Hoagie stood over him, the latter poking the business end of a pickle-shotgun against his cheek.

"Looks like you got rejected, _dude_ ," Hoagie said as Kuki giggled. "You're all out of trump cards, pretty boy. You lose." Hoagie then frowned, realizing that Steve seemed far less focused on him. His eyes were narrowed, and he was staring off into space. "Um, hello? You lost? You got a delayed response or something?"

"Wha? Oh, nah dude, totally thinking about that first thing. Trump card," Steve answered. He hummed to himself, moving his head to use the shotgun barrel to scratch his chin. "Squad Awesome, Squad Radical, Squad Epic…I know I'm forgetting something." That's when it hit him. "Oh yeah!"

And that's when the treehouse power cut out.

"What the-AH!"

"Hoagie? What's going-HOLY COW!"

"What in blazes-YEOW! What was that for!?"

"HOLD STILL DARN YOU!"

 _BAP!_

" _OOWWWWW!_ "

"Oh my gosh! Nigel, I'm so sorry!"

"YOU HIT _ME_ YOU IDIOT!"

"Oh. In that case, I'm not sorry."

"Dude, check it! I can't see a darn thing-WHOA NOW! Personal space much!?"

"Get the rope. For the love of all that is sweet and merciful, GET THE ROPE!"

"You mean this?"

 _SQUEAK!_

"YOU PUT MY HAMSTER DOWN YOU STUPID FONZY WANNABE!"

"Hold it! Three things. First off, that was rude and uncalled for. Second of all, I don't got no stupid furball. And third-"

"GOT 'EM!"

The lights blinked back on, and Steve blinked. He looked under his arm to see Chad and the untied Squad Radical putting the finishing touches on containing Nigel, Hoagie, and Kuki. He looked over to the shaking clam as Wally struggled to free himself, but the other teens had moved in and had it secured.

"Uh," he said, quickly posing in a victory stance. "Forget that third thing, we totally owned you losers!" He then looked over to the entrance of the power core, smirking as a platoon of Teen Ninjas trotted out with cages full of hamsters. "Squad Kind-of-Just-Winging-It coming in clutch!"

The lead girl decloaked and gushed at the praise. "Thanks, sir!"

Kuki recognized the girl. "Numbuh 12!? I wondered where you went, you no good traitor-sleep-over-crashing pants!"

"Save your lame insults for someone who cares," the ex-Numbuh 12 spat. "And don't call me that! I'm not in your stupid babies club anymore."

"Hey, hey, hey! You guys can play catch up all you want later; we got my business to finish." Steve snapped his fingers and the three were tossed in front of him. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a spare pair of shades, straightened his hair, checked his image in his mirror, and then glowered down at the children once he was ready. "Enough with the kiddy games, kiddies. Last chance to cough up Numbuh 5 before The Steve gets officially ticked off."

Hoagie and Kuki ceased their struggles, going rigid and sticking out their tongues as Nigel lashed at the brunette. "Forget it, Steve. Numbuh 5 is far away and safe from your dirty, acne ridden hands."

"Hey dude, lemme do you a solid and toss you a freebie," Steve said, lowering his shades and using his hand to rip away Nigel's. "Don't bluff with The Steve. Trust me. Now where is she?"

"Go suck on a lemon-drop."

"Let me tell you something, _little man_ ," Steve hissed, yanking Nigel up by his collar and thus lifting up Hoagie and Kuki as well. "Little Lincoln's got some high-class Intel that I ain't about to let slip through my hands. The time is right, the mood is set, and the only thing stopping me from making sweet, sweet, jams is an annoying bald brat who thinks he can wear the big boy pants." He stared deeply into Nigel's eyes, his voice lowering to dangerous levels. "This is the last time I'll grant you the mercy of asking. Where. Is. Numbuh. Five?"

Nigel face was blank. He was silent for a long time, Hoagie and Kuki anticipating his response. Finally, the boy smirk. "Up your nose-"

Hoagie and Kuki grinned as they replied, "-with a rubber hose!"

"Hah!" was Wally's muffled laugh from inside the clam. "That's telling 'em!"

Steve dropped them, holding out his hand. Chad can up, surrendering his laser gauntlet to Steve. The teen clipped it to his arm, setting the dial to the highest setting as he pointed it down at the three. "Classy. I'll be sure to include it in your eulogy."

"STOP!"

"And that is game, kids," Steve smirked as he lowered his hand. He turned to the end of the hallway, clapping as Abby walked into the room. "Wasn't actually sure you were gonna make it, target dork."

"Abby, what are you doing!?" Hoagie said as he struggled. "How the heck did you get out?"

"You think I was just gonna sit in there and watch you guys kill yourselves?" she said with a sad smile. "The power outage was all I needed to finally get out."

"Oh ho, The Steve senses a rebellious streak," the boy chuckled, walking up and ruffling Abby's head. She growled, but dared not strike him. "He likes it!"

"Get away while you can, Abby!" Kuki protested as she tried chewing through her bindings. "We can take these meanies!"

"No, Kuki. Not this time," Abby said as she glared up at Steve. "You know what I want."

"Friends for you, eh?" Steve mused before shrugged. "Cliché, but hey, don't fix what ain't broke, am I right? Ha, don't answer that. Of course I am."

"NO!" All eyes turned to the clam as Wally punched his way through. The teens around him were knocked away in his fury, and the blond would've kept charging had Chad not pinned him to the ground. But even while he was down, Wally went rabid and fought to break free. "YOU STUPID TEENAGERS WON'T TAKE HER!"

"Wally stop it!" Abby yelled, the boy freezing at her word. "It's the only way."

Nigel shook his head. "Don't do this, Abby. Don't throw it all away for nothing."

"It ain't for nothing," she said as she smiled sadly at each of them. Steeling her nerve, she looked up to Steve. "Let them go and let's just get out of here already."

"Not so fast there, hot-shot," Steve said. "We ain't splitting until I get what I came for."

"I already promised to go with you, what more do you want?"

"Insurance." He snapped his fingers again, and the closest Teen Ninjas centered their lasers of her friends. "Got a very important question to ask you, Abby. The kind of question that makes waves. The kind of question that changes lives. Forever."

He leaned down, getting eye-level as the lasers hummed threateningly around them. "Ain't no second-guessing this, baby-cakes. This is big time. You're gonna give it to me straight up. Right here. Right _now._ "

Abby sweated, her heart pounding as she looked to her team. To have her swear her allegiance in front of them…

She looked away, her nails digging into her palms. "Just ask already!"

"I-I will! Just give me a sec, alright?"

Abby blinked at the hesitation, then looked up to see the boy mumbling to himself.

"You can do this man…" he chanted. "This ain't even the hard part!"

Wally blinked, looking up to Chad. "Uh, what's he doing?"

Chad shook his head. "Kid, I honestly don't know any more."

"Okay!" Steve suddenly exclaimed. He suddenly became uncharacteristically sheepish as he leaned in close to Abby.

She flinched, but then became even more bewildered as he began whispering in her ear. "Hold up, repeat that?"

Fuming, Steve whispered again.

"For the love of-speak up!"

Rolling his eyes, he spoke up, everyone else hearing his mumblings but not getting the full disclosure. Abby, however, was getting it loud and clear. The longer Steve spoke, the wider Abby's eyes got. He pulled away, nervously awaiting her response. Her jaw slowly dropped, and she tilted her head as she just stared at him.

And stared at him.

And stared at him.

And stared…

Steve started to lean in again-

"YOU _WHAT!?_ "

Only to back away as Abby screeched.

"Y-You…THAT'S all you wanted?" she asked again. At his slow nod, her eye began twitching. "You didn't just try and _ask_ me?"

The teen scoffed. "The Steve doesn't ask, especially some Kids Next Door-."

"ARE YOU CRAZY!?"

"H-Hey, just calm down a second!"

Kuki scrunched her face up in thought as she watched Abby advance on Steve and the teen slowly backing away. Even his own followers were too stunned to react. "Did I miss something?"

Hoagie shook his head. "I think we _all_ missed something."

"You ambush me after school, trash my treehouse, attack my friends and hold them hostage," Abby growled as she backed the boy into a wall, her eyes livid. "You do all that JUST SO YOU CAN ASK ME TO HELP YOU-"

"Shsssssh!" he silenced her by clasping his hand over her mouth. "D-Don't go blabbing out loud, yo. It's not cool!"

Abby glared. Then she bit down.

"OW!" Steve yelped as he shook his finger. "That hurt!"

"Abby can't believe this," she said hysterically, walking around in a circle as she took off her hat to run a hand through her hair. "You…you're all crazy. Every single one of you teenaged fools is crazy!"

"So does that mean you'll help or-"

"IF YOU DON'T LET MY FRIENDS GO THIS INSTANT I SWEAR I'M GONNA-"

"Cool it, cool it!" Steve pacified. He then snapped his fingers at Chad. "Let the losers go, man."

Chad did a double-take. "What?"

"The dorks: free them. Release them to the wild. Let her little people go and all that junk," Steve stressed. "Do you not understand the message I am relaying to you, dude?"

"B-But we went through all this trouble to assault them. We amassed this small army to invade their treehouse, for crying out loud!"

"Hey! Look at that; we invaded sector V's treehouse," Steve wildly exclaimed as he swung his arms around. "Great job, guys. Go us, woo-hoo. Now let 'em go."

Chad opened his mouth to protest-

" _Dude!_ "

"Fine!" Chad gave up as he let go of Wally. The blond slowly stood, not quite sure what to make of this turn of events. Chad then pointed to the other three. "You heard him. Let the brats go."

Steve smiled as sector V was released. He then clasped his hands together and looked down at Abby hopefully. "Does this mean you'll…?"

"Sure! Why not?" Abby cracked. She made a strained noise as she waved him off, content to let him do his little dance while she wandered over to her friends. "Crazy, I tell you. With the shooting, and the fighting, and the-gah-CRAZY!"

"Abby, what the heck is going on?" Nigel asked as she joined them. He looked between her and Steve suspiciously. "You're just going to let him recruit you into their ranks like that?"

Steve stopped what he was doing. "Recruit? You wanna join or something? The Steve could pull a few strings and get you a cushy-"

"No!" Abby said before turning to Nigel. "This ain't about making me join the stupid teenagers. Though honestly after hearing that load of crock, I almost wish it was!"

"Then what on Earth did he want?"

"I'll catch you up in a second." Abby then glared at Chad and pointed to the breach. "Now y'all get out!"

Chad was shocked but recovered. "You can't tell me what to do you little-"

"You heard the lil lady," Steve suddenly said as he clapped his hands. "Party's over. Chop chop!"

"Seriously, Steve!? We are gonna have a long talk about this when we get back to base!" Chad pouted as he motioned for the other teenagers to follow. "Come on, guys. Let's go."

Abby watched them file out one by one then turned to Steve. "That means you too!"

"Huh?" Steve said. "But what about-"

"We'll meet up outside my house in an hour, now get out!"

Wally watched as Steve quickly skedaddled. He cradled his head in his hands as his brain started to hurt. "What the crud just happened?"

"Clean yourselves up and get in the COOLBUS," Abby grumbled as she walked off. "Trust me, y'all have to see it to believe it."

* * *

 _Plink!_

There was a mumble as the youth was torn from dreams of burning down treehouses and endless shopping sprees. She shrugged off the noise, snuggling deeper into her blanket.

 _Plink!_

This time she slowly opened one eye as it looked around the dark room. After a moment, she huffed then tried to go back to sleep.

 _Plink!_

She buried her head under her pillow. Whatever that was, she was sure if she just ignored it then it would eventually-

 _CRASH!_

"What the heck!?" Cree screamed as she snapped up, her blaster armed and ready. She scanned her room, searching for intruders and allowed her muscles to relax as she found none. Shaking off her sleep, she peered over the edge of her bed and frowned at what she saw.

"Oh, she is so gonna get it!" Cree growled as she left her bed. She wandered to the middle of the room, gazing at the cinderblock that had just decided to make itself at home. She followed the trail of broken glass it left in its wake and nearly flipped when she saw the remains of her window.

"You and your stupid friends won't get away with this, Abigail," she seethed as she went to her window, lifting it up and glaring down at her midnight visitor. "Once I tell mom and dad you are so- _Steve?_ "

There, in her backyard, was indeed The Steve. The teenager just awkwardly stood there, waving. "Uh, y-yo, Cree."

Cree moved to snap to attention, but banged her head against the window pane. She rubbed it off, flustered with her current appearance, but still aiming to appear professional in front of her leader. "Steve, sir. What is it? Some emergency?"

"Huh? Uh, nah. Not really," he softly answered, shifting back and forth. "Sorry about the window."

Cree looked over her shoulder to the cinderblock and simply shrugged. "I've had worse."

"Really? Bummer."

"Yeah," she slowly said. "So, why are you here?"

"Ah, you know. For stuff."

"Stuff?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

"Destroying Kids Next Door related stuff?"

"Yeah! I-I mean no," he stumbled. "We actually just finished the raid on Sector V-"

"You raided my sister's team!?"

"It was all cool!" he smiled as he tried to wave it off. "We totally got what we needed and stuff. We rule, and...yeah."

"Oh." That sudden rush left as quick as it came. "Why didn't you call me?"

"It was your night off, right?"

"Well, yeah. But you know I'd come if you needed me, sir."

Steve coughed into his hand. "Yeah…about that…you, uh, you don't need to call me sir and stuff, y'know?"

Across the street, situated in a tiny non-KND affiliated treehouse, sector V sat huddled together as they stood witness to the oddness across the road.

Nigel lowered his BONGOSCOPES in confusion. "Numbuh 5, what are we watching?"

Abby snapped her fingers, and beside her Wally hesitantly handed her a can of root beer. She snatched the drink, cracked it open, and took a long swing before saying, "Just watch."

"What is this really about, Steve?" Cree asked, drumming her nails against the sill. "You came over here in the middle of the night for something important. If it ain't got nothing to do with the KND, then what is it?"

Steve didn't say a word and opted to taking slow breaths. Once he collected himself, he smiled. "I like, came here for you. To talk to ya."

Only those with a keen eye would pick up how Cree perked at that statement. "About…?"

"To see if you were still bummed about Maurice and junk," Steve said. He recalled how the two split recently. How could he not? "Like, you doing okay or not so okay about that jazz?"

"Um, yeah, I'm doing alright," Cree said. Her finger absentmindedly started twirling her curls, and she arched a brow when she heard a gagging sound in the distance that made her think of Abby for some reason. She brushed it off and smiled down at Steve. "It was mutual…for the most part. I'm over it. There'll be other boys, you know?"

Steve tensed, fists clenching as he curtly nodded. "Yeah, other guys. Sure thing."

"But I just wanted to thank you again, Steve," she said, her voice a tad softer. "I really appreciate you being there for me. That one-on-one was really what I needed after these last few crazy months."

Steve's cheeks reddened as he spoke. "Uh, you know those one-on-ones don't have to be so, like, rare and stuff. And, uh, they don't _exactly_ need to be one-on-ones."

Cree blinked. "Come again?"

"Like, we should totally hang-out more. B-But maybe not just hanging out like pals and stuff, but maybe like, h-hanging out like something else?"

"I…" Cree shook her head, frowning down at the boy as her heart picked up a bit. "Steve, I'm not in the mood for word-games. What the heck was that supposed to mean?"

"It means…aw man, give me a sec here."

Over in the treehouse, Nigel, Hoagie, and Kuki's collectively gasped while Wally looked confused. He looked over to Abby whom was still chugging down root beer after root beer. "What the crud is his problem?"

Abby said nothing as she crushed the can and threw to the growing pile behind her. She hiccupped, then growled as she looked over the street. She checked her watch, and her frustration only grew.

"I ain't watching this freak-show all night," she grumbled as she reached around for something. Her hand found the communicator, and she lifted to yell in it. "Play the stupid song already!"

Wally's brows shot up. "Song?"

"GEEZ!" Steve hissed, the little bud in his ear nearly shattering his eardrum. He ripped the headphone from his ear, glaring across the street as he walked to the bush. "Fine! Man, stupid kids thinking they can yell at The Steve…"

Cree grew only more confused as the teen apparently started talking to himself then fumbled in her mother's shrubbery. Steve was by no means a conventional sort of person, but this was odd; even for him. She nearly moved to close her window and head outside to see if he was alright, but she stopped when the boy came out with his guitar and boom-box.

"S-So like," he began after plugging his guitar into the boom-box. He gave a few test strums before calming himself. "The Steve is a straight shooting kinda guy, but when it comes to, uh, _important_ things, he sometimes can't say the right words. S-So just, sit back and prepare to be dazzled as my song speaks for me instead." He ducked his head, whispering to himself, "I hope."

Cree watched transfixed as Steve began playing, his body relaxing and breaths slowing in time with the music as he let his stage persona take over. The music swayed in her ears and she found herself almost lost in it before he started singing.

" _Yo. With them, they think I got it all: the looks, the styles, the cars. Yeah, I'm the dude who can totally lay down the ba-ars_."

Nigel slowly turned to Abby. "You…can't be serious."

Abby simply kept on chugging her root beer.

" _Yo. With you,_ " he sang, motioning up to Cree whom put a hand to her chest. " _I like totally drop the ball: I'm blind, I'm lame, I'm scarred. Yeah, reaching for you is like trying to catch sta-ars._ "

Cree stood stunned as Steve got into it, the cords rising as he bobbed his head.

" _I know this ain't what you were ex-pec-tin',_ " He walked forward, raising a foot and resting it on the tree stump. " _But this is totally real and no mis-di-rec-tion!_ "

"Knock off that racket!" Shouted one of Cree's neighbors. Knightbrace, sans dental suit, opened a window and raged with a tooth-brush hanging from his mouth. "Can't a guy brush his teeth with some peace and quiet-AAHH!"

The adult was blasted further into his house as Cree lowered her smoking gauntlet. Assured the loser was down, she quickly returned her attention to Steve.

" _Cree! You mean a lot to me; I'd choose you over nachos,_ " He bent over, his fingers wildly strumming as he swung his head back and sang, " _Cree! You're the bomb to me; I like you more than tacos!_ "

Cree's eyes watered, and she gasped as five hamsters in cupid outfits were lowered down by strings. One passed her a rose, and then they all began squeaking to provide background to the chorus.

From her perch, Kuki squealed. "So THAT'S why you asked for the hamsters. Numbuh 5, that's so cute!"

Abby was too far gone in root beer to care at this point.

" _I'd go to the moon for you; why you even askin'?_ " He swung his arm for the next cord. " _Babe in your radiance; it's a privilege to be baskin'!_ "

"Steve…"

" _I don't deserve to ask this question, but it's finally time to end my vexin'_ ," The strums were softer as his voice got lighter. " _Hey, Cree. Would you go out with me? Would you go out with me-ee?_ "

He finished his song, his heart pounding as he took calming breaths. After gathering his courage, he smiled up to the window, hoping Abby's advice worked.

The window was empty and the hamsters shrugged as they dangled from the roof.

Steve fell to his knees, guitar falling away as he slammed his fists into the ground. How could've he been so stupid? Abby and Cree hated each other, why would she give him _actual_ advice? Thoughts of retaliation were overcome by waves of grief, and he let his shades fall off his face as he sighed.

What a total bust.

The slamming of a door caught his attention, and he looked up just in time to be tackled to the ground by a blur. He almost fought back, thinking Sector V had decided to quit hiding and finish him while he was down.

But suddenly he found that beating up kids was totally lame when he realized that Cree wrapped her arms around him and rested her head in the crook of his neck. The elder Lincoln sibling smiled as she breathed, "Yes."

Steve couldn't stop his goofy smile as he returned the hug. "Cool."

Nigel lowered his BONGOSCOPES disgusted as he turned to his second-in-command. "Well done, Numbuh 5. Thanks to you, two of the most dangerous teenagers in the entire world are now an item."

"Oh shu-shut up," she slurred, tossing a can at him but missing him completely. "You're not the one who-HIC-one who-HIC-one who has to deal with THAT," she stopped to point at the cuddling teens, "at din-HIC-din-HIC."

Wally awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. "Dinner?"

"What he said," Abby grumbled into the floor of the play-fort. "Give me another…"

"Oh no," Kuki tutted as she swatted Wally's hand away from the last six-pack. She reached into her pocket, pulling out a tiny nurse-aid hat and putting it on as she helped Abby up. "No more root beer for you, missy. We're getting you home and putting you to bed."

Wally rolled his eyes, but followed Kuki's example by keeping the sodas away from Abby. "You mean to tell me we got our butts handed to us just so he could ask you for advice on how to date your sister?"

"Do you want a gold star?" Abby said. She went into another bout of hiccups as Kuki patted her back. "Cree is such a loser. She goes nuts for that cheesy-HIC-that cheesy-HIC-that stupid cheesy crud!"

"Of course!" Hoagie said. He slapped a hand to his forehead and couldn't believe how blind he had been. "Serenading her; why didn't I think of that?"

Abby snarled, lifting her hat to smack the boy. However it fell from her fingers, and she still shook her hand and tried to knock him around with something that wasn't there.

"Numbuh 4, help Numbuh 3 with Numbuh 5. Numbuh 2, pack up the equipment." Nigel rattled off orders grumpily as he lowered the rope ladder. He began climbing down, already dreading having to deliver the news to higher-ups about the new development. "We have to get her back to the treehouse and explain to Global Command why we weren't there when they arrived."

Hoagie was the last to hop down and carried Abby's hat while he pointed to her house. "Why don't just drop her off in her room?"

"Mate, you really wanna go through that?" Wally said, jerking his head towards the new couple on the lawn. Cree sat close to Steve, resting her head on his shoulder and giggling as the boy begrudgingly fed the hamsters treats. "Teenagers. Bleh!"

* * *

In his office, Numbuh Infinity slowly read over the report; his eyes going over every last detail. Once he was finally finished, he leaned up, a completely blank look on his face as he choose to stare out the window, ignoring the two teenagers present.

Chad leaned against the wall, arms folded and foot tapping impatiently. In a chair sat Maurice, a brow raised as he read over a copy of the report himself.

Infinity finally looked away to gaze at Chad. His eyes shifted down to the paper. Then back to Chad again.

Silence.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously!" Chad exploded. "He just wanted advice on Cree and didn't want to recruit Numbuh 5 like we thought. It's there in the report for Zero's Sake!"

Infinity hmmed as he looked at the parchment. "Well, that's a thing that happened."

"That's…not how I would've described it, but I suppose it sums it up well," Maurice said. He shook his head, tossing his copy into the waste-bin as he stood. "Orders?"

Infinity rubbed his chin as he walked around his desk. He stood between the boys before looking at Maurice. "I want you to take personal leave and clear your head. For," his eyes shifted to the report in his hands, "reasons."

Maurice just nodded.

Chad huffed. "What about me?"

"You?" Infinity asked. He shoved the report into the blond's hands and turned to leave. "You deal with that."

Chad groaned. "What am I supposed to do, be a permanent third-wheel?"

"Do you want my honest suggestion?" Infinity said as he turned outside the door. "Try to have fun figuring that part out by yourself."

"That's not a suggestion."

"And I care?" Was the last thing Infinity said before the door shut.

Chad balled up the report and threw it at the door. Uppity little punk. He turned his attention to Maurice, and his features softened a tad. "Uh, hey man, how are you holding up?"

Maurice sighed. "I just found out my ex is now dating my other boss. 'Holding up' is a generous phrase for me right now."

"That's rough, buddy."

 **end transmission**

 **Credits:**

 **"So What?"-P!nk**

 **"I Like You More Than Tacos"-The Steve (ft. Sector V hamsters)**


End file.
